THE FUCK’S A TUFFET? by Jonathan Cardew
Little Miss Muffet took another hit from her Juul. It was Friday, which meant English class all afternoon. Instead of walking towards the Arts building, though, Muffet detoured into the woods so she could do a little pipe before Hawthorne. When she sat down on a grassy embankment, a spider descended from a nearby tree–a ten-foot wide spider, big enough to hop and skip over a bus. She tried to light her pipe, but the spider freaked out and hissed at the flame. “Oh, just piss off,” she said to the spider, and it promptly did. …
