Patrick Eades

Patrick Eades is a writer from Sydney, Australia. He works as a physiotherapist in aged care, and through the years he has found humour to be a much more effective medicine than the exercises his clients regularly ignore. Patrick’s writing has appeared in a number of literary publications and anthologies, both in Australia and overseas, such as ACE III: Arresting, Contemporary stories by Emerging writers, published by Recent Work Press, and The Westchester Review. He also has a blog on Medium.com, where he publishes humour and fiction.

FIVE OF THE WAYS I WISH I WAS MORE LIKE MOISSANITE by Patrick Eades

October 2, 2024 · Fiction

People often ask me what my spirit animal is. I’m not sure why I am asked so frequently. Maybe they are unsure if I am still human. Or maybe it is the clear spirits mixed with bile I have used to decorate their terrazzo floors that confuses them, and they are not sure whether to use lion strength metho or if bumblebee spray-and-wipe will be enough. In any case, I tell them I don’t have a spirit animal, but if I could choose a spirit mineral, it would be Moissanite. Moissanite is somewhat of an unknown in the spirit world,…

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