Everything is fucked up, okay? Ask us what’s fucked up and if there was a gesture to gesture toward all of it, that would be the gesture we’d make. This deep, deep fucked upedness – which is also a wide, wide fucked upedness – means a lot of things. Geopolitical things. Authoritarian things. Environmental things.
Toxic things.
And you know what? We’re tired. And we’re guessing you are, too. And we’re just going to assume if you’re reading this that we’re all tired because we’re all doing our best fighting the good fight, doing what we gotta do, helping how we can help, protecting what we gotta protect.
But at least the new Toxic Avenger movie is finally almost out, because as a reward for dealing with all the fucked upedness as best we can, we all deserve a little treat. And the treat we deserve is a remake of a low-budget horror comedy from the 80s about a twerpy, mop-wielding loser who is transformed into a hero by exposure to toxic sludge (aka the type of thing giant corporations describe to their shareholders as externalized risk).
And that hero, of course, is Toxie, the ass-kicking superhuman mutant who defends the citizens of Tromaville, New Jersey from fascist thugs and corrupt politicians.
Now it’s only fair that, while waiting for this treat you deserve, you reward yourself for doing such an outstanding job of waiting so patiently with – you guessed it – MORE TREATS.
And the treats you deserve for so outstandingly waiting patiently are books.
And the specific books you deserve are these, according to us (in no particular order):
Behind Every Tree, Beneath Every Rock by Michael Tichy (Castaigne Press, 74 pages)
Tichy’s kickass nature’s revenge novella answers the question, what if the Toxie and Treebeard had a baby, and that baby slaughters neo-Nazis.
Maggots Screaming! by Max Booth III (Ghoulish Books, 342 pages)
A father son duo find corpse copies of themselves in the backyard and decide to watch The Simpsons together, typical Texas activities! Max goes into every detail of decomposition and it’s an absolute blast.
Ghosts of East Baltimore by David Simmons (Broken River Books, 189 pages)
John Dies At The End meets The Wire. David Simmons’ unique voice tells a deeply weird and extremely fun story in this horror novel that winds through the grittiest and grimiest corners of Baltimore where occult addictions and mechanized villains rule.
My Dog Shits Cash by Luke Kondor (Bod Dot Press, 208 pages)
We adore Luke’s writing and we will shout about it from the rooftops. They’re incredibly fast reads, that perfect Bizarro blend of absurdism, gore and humor. The latter half of this gets WILD.
Transmuted by Eve Harms (Unnerving, 113 pages)
Queer stories by queer writers! A back alley style gender affirming surgery goes haywire for our protag Isa in a big way. Eve’s descriptions are delicious.
Lars Breaxface, Werewolf in Space by Brandon (Spaceboy Books, 320 pages)
It’s stupid fun riding along with badboy space werewolf Lars and his gang of misfits through the galaxy, causing mayhem and escaping from some of the most fucked up space enemies ever, including a variety of killer dildos. This book has a one-star Goodreads review that reads, “DNF – so ridiculously crude” and a five-star Goodreads review that reads, “So ridiculously crude I finished twice.”
Slices: Tales of Bizarro and Absurdist Horror by Scott Cole (Black T-Shirt Books, 160 pages)
Round out your toxie reading with a collection! The weird has its roots in short stories, and Cole is a master of hooking you from the first page. Huge variety here, so there’s something for everyone.
Bullet Tooth by Grant Wamack (Broken River Books, 164 pages)
A VHS-entombed demon awakens and wreaks havoc on the streets of Chicago, manipulating people around a student artist named Caleb and stoking beefs to fuel gang violence and feed on the ensuring death. This is literary B-movie horror with a message that hits its targets dead on.
Witch Piss by Sam Pink (134 pages)
Sam Pink’s signature deadpan absurdist lens on everyday life turns the experience of hanging out with neighborhood oddballs into a series of strange adventures. Another Chicago story, the abandoned buildings and dead-end streets set the stage of this side-splittingly hilarious book where Pink’s reveling in bad taste and broken dreams calls to mind some of Troma’s best (worst?).
The Nothing That Is by Kyle Winkler (179 pages)
A broke-as-hell employee of a small town catering business versus a cosmic manifestation of demonic greed. Love a likeable loser turned working class hero!
Coyote by Max Restaino (Amphetamine Sulphate, 69 pages)
A grim and grimy love letter to the forbidden horrors and pleasures of cult VHS gems, Coyote legit feels like a cursed and grainy lo-fi nightmare.
Chaindevils by Matthew Mitchell (Weirdpunk Books, 128 pages)
A propulsive post-apocalyptic splatterfest where meth addict warriors terrorize the post-apocalyptic countryside and wage chainsaw-powered war against all manner of menacing mutants. And there’s lust and love and a blood red anti-authoritarian streak running through it too!
And finally, here are our shameless plugs for each other’s books, which we both genuinely love and which absolutely belong on this list:
Inside-Out by Lor Gislason (DarkLit Press, 86 pages)
Gislason’s debut novella gushes with lo-fi gore and goo. But don’t mistake Inside Out for nihilistic ultra-violence – the sympathetic characters and relatable emotional arcs make this not just gross, but fun. Is cozy body horror a thing? It is now.
Skull Slime Tentacle Witch War by Rick Claypool (Anxiety Press, 298 pages)
I’m in awe that Rick can make a story featuring a guy who pukes knives pull at my heartstrings. It’s such a “this is what writing’s all about” inspiration. Live your best goopy life!
So… yeah. It’s easy to get lost in futility when the world is this fucked up on the regular. But that just makes the little moments of joy and weirdness even more important to hold on to. Watch a stupid movie. Read a demented book book. Tell your friend a bad joke. And take it one day at a time.