Eli S. Evans

Eli S. Evans’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in N+1, Berfrois, Queen Mob’s Teahouse, Johnny America, Eclectica, On the Seawall, and Drunk Monkeys, as well as several other now defunct publications. He would like the reader to know that the part of this story that’s not true is the part where he’s the asshole. 

A VERY SHORT STORY ABOUT TWO (THREE) FORMER FRIENDS by Eli S. Evans

On my fortieth birthday, my old friend A– sent me the following message: “Happy birthday, bro. Mark Fisher summited Everest last week.” As Mark Fisher and I hadn’t been friends for at least twenty years, this news was not meaningful to me except in so far as it provided a measure relative to which all of my own accomplishments in life suddenly appeared quite meager. And on the day of my fortieth birthday, no less! In bitterness, I composed the following reply: “That’s cool, but not as cool as when I summited your mom last night,” and only after not…

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