QED by Tina S. Zhu

To prove that I was not a victim of grand larceny by way of The Incredible Madame Eustacia like Channel 2 News is falsely claiming, I will demonstrate the following: a) that the Incredible Madame Eustacia was not a fraud and that b) despite relying on crowdfunding for next month’s rent, her advice was worth the cost.

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EATS LIKE A BEAR by Nathan Willis

The bear looks up the school the baby will one day attend and leaves messages for the administrator, asking how soon is too soon to start the admissions process.

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THE ELIMINATION DIET by Alexandra Wuest

Her older sister Kathleen is on the clams casino diet. Her younger sister Nina is on the tap dance diet. Each sister thinks the others are crazy for eating the way they do and each sister says so.

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